Tuesday, July 21, 2009

No can help…

I’ve not been feeling quite right lately. I forget what I am doing, lose track of my car-keys, wallet, credit cards all the time - it’s comical. There is constant unease to everyday life, different than I’ve experienced before. I don’t know how to deal with it.

I am theorizing that this is not just a personal failure, that many others are feeling something similar, but perhaps expressing it differently - in the variegated forms and degrees of depression, anger, or numbness. We are all worried, distracted, drained, unclear how to proceed, how to get through this.

Out of one eye I see our magnificent (it is!) American civilization continuing with its usual business: people drive their cars to work, buy their groceries, watch television, go on trips. There is noticeably less activity, but in general everything seems sort of normal.

In my other eye is a vision - an intuition that our civilization grew beyond its own structural support and, what is worse, began preying on itself. We've taught ourselves to take advantage of each other whenever possible. With that ingrained in our values, it will be a long time until we figure out how to build something larger than net worth again.

Right now no one feels very good. Even if you still have a job, there is anxiety and uncertainty. Will the situation improve soon, or will things get much, much worse? What will much, much worse look like, be like? No one knows. It makes everyone a little crazy...not themselves.

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