Constructing Human Reality

There are three phases of constructing reality among humans.

The first one is formed in the most basic human bonds to family members - mother, father, siblings.  That is where we develop our fundamental relationship to our bodies and emotions; where we develop a sense of self and the interplay between self and other humans, as well as the interplay between self, other humans and the non-human world (the development of this three-way relationship is something we don't pay enough attention to.)  This is when we learn the basics of human social rules as well.

The second phase is our more-or-less formal education where we are trained in the more specific social rules and technical skills of our society, such as the 3R's or memorizing sacred texts or craft skills or war-games. We develop our sense of self further and learn how to manipulate material and symbols to construct the shared reality called society or culture.  (Here, too, formal education in a conscious relationship to non-human reality is seriously underdeveloped.  We learn to do science but this art unfortunately has been warped into a technical exercise in maximizing human exploitation of "natural resources."  Needless to say this is a very limited and childish conception of the relationship.)

The third phase is the autonomy that comes after formal education ceases, where we get to become a constructive member of society (or not).   One is turned out in the big pasture, with the general population, to sink or swim.  And if we are lucky, we get to spend quite a bit of time at it.  This is when we really get to make our own lives: to choose what we do, who we spend time with, where we live, and what values we express in the jobs we take, the families we make, the life-worlds we build up.  This is also the phase of maximum responsibility, if we are brave enough to accept responsibility.

(There might be a fourth phase, saying good-bye, but I haven't got there yet.)

Within the phases there are very particular things that we do to construct reality.
I say phases, but really they are three faces because they happen simultaneously all through one's life,  but one face will be generally predominant during the different periods of a person's life.